you can question the authority
of your inner critic
Have you ever stopped to think about how much time you've spent beating yourself up? If you’re like many of my students, you're kind and understanding to others, but to yourself? Not so much.
Maybe you've noticed the way your inner critic orders you around all day long, telling you what you should say, what you should think, who you should be ~ even what you should feel. It eats away at you and at your time, and it's exhausting.
The inner critic usually sees some feelings as good while others are bad. And it often claims that if you just did things the right way, you wouldn't feel angry, sad or afraid. In other words, when you're having a hard time, it must be your fault. You must be doing something wrong. There must be something wrong with you. Again, exhausting. Especially now.
I know firsthand how painful it is to live this way, held hostage on the inside. For years, my inner critic controlled my life and always had the last word. I didn't trust myself and my intuition, and I drifted into relationships and a career that made me miserable. All of this happened because I had no idea how I felt and what I needed.
About fifteen years ago, that began to change. I took a class on difficult emotions at a Buddhist monastery where I was living. The opening exercise was to complete this sentence: "What my anger says about me is _________________." I struggled with the assignment. After several false starts, I ended up writing: "What my anger says about me is that I've done something wrong." And then I sat there looking at my notebook, feeling like something was off about it, but not knowing what it was.
After a few moments, the instructor asked if anyone wanted to share. The friend sitting next to me raised his hand and read his sentence out loud: "What my anger says about me is that I'm alive."
Huh? In that moment, time seemed to stop. I had never heard anything like this before, and I didn't know what my friend was talking about. He was a Zen priest ~ was anger even allowed? Weren't Buddhists supposed to transcend "negative" emotions?
Well, he didn't get in trouble. In fact, no one seemed to have any opinion at all about his anger. He was just being an authentic human.
Right then, something inside of me recalibrated. I realized on a felt-sense level that my inner critic didn't know everything, and that there was a radically different way I could live. I didn't know much about it yet, but I was determined to find out.
Over time, I discovered that this radically different way is self-compassion. And it has transformed my life and the lives of hundreds of my students and clients.
who would you be
if there was nothing wrong with you?
Imagine what life would be like if you could see beyond the limited, distorted perspective of your inner critic and reclaim your time. Imagine being able to appreciate the life you have right now, knowing that it's enough and you're enough.
You’d feel more:
❤️ compassion, joy, confidence and calm
🔗 connection and authenticity with yourself and others
You’d have more:
🌟 energy to care for yourself and for the people you love
💡 clarity to take action on what really matters to you
🌱 space to grow, create and rest
🌻 capacity to accept what you can't change
👉 you'd see the truth: that you're human, you're whole, and you belong 👈
introducing...
everyday self-compassion
an 8-week online group program where you’ll learn how to disarm your inner critic, practice self-kindness, and navigate the uncertainty of everyday life with creativity, confidence and calm
everyday self-compassion
is a unique program
Creativity
Self-compassion isn't just a mindful and contemplative practice, it's also a fundamentally creative way of relating to ourselves. Learning self-kindness requires us to re-wire our brain from being more self-critical to being more self-compassionate ~ that is a creative act! Plus, research shows that creative behaviors improve brain function and mental health, so it makes sense to include creativity in a program focused on cultivating self-compassion.
Uncertainty
Everyday Self-Compassion is the only program with a specific focus on how self-compassion can help you navigate uncertain times with more calm and confidence. While uncertainty has always been part of life, it hadn’t been an everyday concern for most people prior to 2020. Now that we know what it’s like for life to be upended, uncertainty is more in the foreground. However, most folks feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and do not have solid tools for coping with it.
Community
One of the most powerful dimensions of learning and practicing in a group is that you see and experience the ways that you are not alone. Surrounded by other imperfect humans who are learning how to be kinder to themselves, you realize that you are a human among humans, and no one has it completely figured out. There really is no substitute for the support of a safe, warmhearted community, and that's what we'll create together.
everyday self-compassion
will teach you how to...
🌿 practice self-compassion in the face of uncertainty
🌿 use your innate creativity to adapt to changing circumstances
🌿 motivate yourself with kindness instead of criticism
🌿 develop healthier and more realistic expectations of yourself
🌿 respond to challenges with deeper self trust
… so you can feel more calm, creative, connected and confident in the uncertainty of everyday life.
what to expect
in the program
Each week, we'll explore a different dimension of self-compassion. Our live classes will be a mix of reflective and creative; serious and playful. We'll meditate together, check in as a group, learn and practice with the week's theme, and have small group discussions.
In preparation for each week's class, you'll watch a brief info video and complete a reflection worksheet. This conceptual foundation will help you make the most of our live classes, where you'll have space and time to ask questions and process what you're learning.
You'll also have home practices each week, including meditations, reflections and mindful art-making.
The goal is for you to directly experience self-compassion, have the tools to practice it when facing the uncertainty of everyday life, and to embody your inner compassionate self more fully.
PRE-PROGRAM
Before the program begins, you'll get started with some structured reflection that will guide you in clarifying your intentions for enrolling in the program, as well as the community you want to co-create. There will be an opportunity to assess your level of self-compassion so that you can get a sense of where you are as you begin. You’ll also watch an info video and complete a worksheet to learn about the building blocks of self-compassion, so that you have a conceptual foundation for our first live class.
WEEK ONE: Discovering Self-Compassion
We’ll begin by orienting to the program and looking at the arc of the journey so you know exactly what to expect. To create safety and support connection, we'll also discuss intentions and talk about the community we want to share. Next, we'll turn our focus to the fundamentals of self-compassion. There will be time for questions and discussion, and we'll do an experiential exercise to give you a felt sense of self-compassion. You'll leave class with tools to be kinder to yourself in everyday life.
WEEK TWO: Navigating Uncertainty
Even though not-knowing is at the heart of being human, it tends to make us feel uncomfortable. This week we'll explore uncertainty ~ how it's normal to struggle with it, how it can impact us in stressful ways that we might not immediately recognize, and how mindfulness is one of the most powerful skills for coping with it. Through mindful, creative and experiential exercises, you'll learn practical ways to meet the unknown so you can feel more confident, calm and compassionate.
WEEK THREE: Feelings & Needs
The core question of self-compassion is, "What do I need?" Although our feelings tell us about our needs, most of us find it hard to accept how we feel. This makes it difficult to know how to be kind to ourselves. This week, we'll learn why it's important to let ourselves have a full range of feelings, how we can have many feelings at once. At the end of this module, you'll be better able to recognize and accept your feelings, so you can have the information you need to be kinder to yourself.
WEEK FOUR: Boundaries & Connection
Self-kindness means honoring that we all need to feel independent and we all need to feel connected. There's a natural tension between these needs, and both are related to our emotional truth. This week, we'll explore healthy boundaries and how they relate to these universal human needs. You'll learn how to recognize when you need more closeness or more independence, how to meet these needs, and how to be kind to yourself when they aren't met.
ONLINE RETREAT
The half-day silent, online retreat will be a dedicated time to gently immerse yourself in self-compassion. You'll be guided in familiar practices and introduced to some new ones that incorporate mindfulness, creativity, and movement. The invitation is to deeply listen to what you need and allow yourself to have it. You have full permission to do what feels right and customize your practice. At the end of the retreat, you'll feel resourced and refreshed, with an embodied experience of self-compassion.
WEEK FIVE: Identity & Self-Esteem
In uncertain times, our sense of identity can get disrupted, and things that we thought we knew about ourselves change. If we've looked to external achievements as sources of identity or self-esteem, we can feel lost. This week we'll explore different sources of self-esteem, and the power of having a stable sense of self. By the end of this module, you'll be able to draw on inner sources of stable self-esteem and find a sense of who you are, regardless of outside circumstances.
WEEK SIX: Parts & Wholeness
Under stress, we all tend to regress. This means that our "young parts" can become more active in stressful times. When this happens, we tend to be more reactive to ourselves and others. This week, we'll explore the perspective of having various parts, and how we can learn to listen to them. By the end of this module, you'll be able to identify several of your parts and relate compassionately to them. These skills will help you feel more responsive and calm when meeting everyday uncertainty.
WEEK SEVEN: Self-Judgment & Self-Kindness
The inner critic tries to convince us tha we should be able to control the uncontrollable and predict the unpredictable ~ both of which are impossible. This week, we'll explore the inner workings of the critic, and we'll learn a step-by-step process for accessing the voice of self-kindness. By the end of this module, you'll be able to identify where the inner critic comes from, how it tries to help you, how you can disarm it, and how to listen to your inner voice of self-kindness.
WEEK EIGHT: Your Compassionate Self
Over the course of the program, we have developed a deeper understanding of self-compassion and how to navigate uncertainty with greater creativity, confidence, and calm. In our final week, we will look back on this journey, identify the tools that are most helpful for each of us and create personal self-compassion toolkits. We will also share reflective and creative processes to help us integrate our learning and anchor it in everyday life so self-compassion is more accessible in stressful, uncertain times.
when and where
we'll meet
Monday Evenings:
June 14 - August 16, 2021
(no meetings on July 5 & 19)
6:30pm-8:30pm PT
Retreat: Saturday, July 17 ~ 9am-12pm PT
Location: on Zoom
students say...
"This was truly life-changing."
"I learned to let go of my perfectionism and the need to 'stay strong' and to instead give myself a break ~ treating myself as I would treat a friend. This was truly life changing. Lea’s expert teaching was supported by her gentle, firm guidance and ongoing encouragement to 'be curious.' Since taking the course, my relationship with myself and with others is more authentic, connected and human. I’m extremely grateful." ~ Kelly R.
"I've benefited immensely."
"I really appreciated Lea’s thoughtful, relaxed and engaged approach in sharing her deep knowledge of self-compassion, and I’ve benefited immensely from the wide variety of tools she shared. I often recall her teachings and continue to use the practices during times of reflection or discomfort. Lea’s wisdom and the care and intention she brings to her workshops make for a truly worthwhile experience." ~ Meredith E.
everyday self-compassion
early bird offers available now
8-week online group program begins June 14th
EARLY BIRD OFFER
SIGN UP NOWEARLY BIRD COACHING PACKAGE
SIGN UP NOWearly bird offers end
Tuesday, June 1, 2021 ~ 11:59 PM PST
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I want you to love Everyday Self-Compassion. If for any reason you're not satisfied, just let me know within 14 days of the first live class, and you'll receive a full refund.
A limited number of partial scholarships are available.
Click Here to Apply
hi, i'm Lea Seigen Shinraku
i created this program for you
Most of us never learned how to be kind to ourselves, and it's hard to figure it out on your own. I know what it's like to struggle with an intense inner critic, and to navigate ongoing uncertainty. I've learned how powerful self-compassion is, and how to practice it creatively in everyday life. I've also discovered that uncertainty is a gateway to deep connection with myself and others. I created this program so I could share this with you, so you can feel more confident, connected, centered and joyful. I'm a licensed therapist and I've been leading self-compassion groups, workshops, classes and trainings for over 10 years. I'm also a 20+ year Zen practitioner. Self-compassion is revolutionary, and nothing means more to me than helping people truly accept themselves.
now is the time
for self-compassion
There’s never been a better time to learn about self-compassion and how it can help you meet uncertainty with more confidence and calm. Our world continues to feel unpredictable, and many of us are dealing with ongoing disruption, loss, and transition.
On top of that, you might be blaming yourself ~ on some level thinking that you should have this figured out by now. No one has this 100% figured out. We're all figuring it out, moment-by-moment, together.
Having solid, practical tools for coping with stress is invaluable to our mental health. If you've felt overwhelmed when facing uncertainty and you want to feel more centered in your everyday life, don’t let another day go by without learning to be kinder to yourself.
