Hello, Lea,

I know your inbox is probably flooded today, so thank you for choosing to open this email! I hope that you had an as-easeful-as-possible Thanksgiving, and that you're finding some time to rest this weekend. We're fully in the holiday season now, and 2022 will be here before we know it. Complex feelings can come up as the year draws to a close, so if you're feeling "off" or not as jolly as you think you should be feeling, know that this is normal and you're not alone. You can feel more than one thing at the same time, and there's no "right" way to feel. ❤️

Our practice this month, Being Generous with Yourself, was inspired by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer's poem Things to Know When Waking. I chose this poem and created this practice as a way to cope with some of the complex feelings that often arise this season. It's a time when we can feel both great appreciation for what we have, and awareness, too, of what's missing. We may wish the year had gone differently, or feel grief that we aren't able to be with loved ones for various reasons. And, if we think the holidays are supposed to feel or look a certain way, we can get the idea that there's something missing or wrong with us. When we think that way, we may relate to ourselves with a kind of harshness or coldness, thinking we need to wait until we're "better" or more deserving in order to fully live the life we have. I hope this practice reminds you that all feelings belong, no feeling is final, and that this is the day to live ~ to be gentle and generous with yourself as you are right now. ❤️

I could not be more excited to share that I'll be part of Gentle Beginnings for a New Year ~ a virtual retreat that's happening January 22-23, 2022. This retreat will include meditation, poetry, community connection, movement, and self-compassion practice. I'll be leading the self-compassion session, and two of the other presenters are poets Danusha Lamerís and James Crews, who will guide us in exploring poetry. I've shared self-compassion poems from both Danusha and James in my newsletters and workshops, so there's something especially meaningful about being part of this retreat. If you'd like to start 2022 with more of a focus on self-expression and less on self-improvement, please join us. You can learn more and register by clicking here. You can receive $10 off if you sign up by the solstice (midnight PT on December 21) and use the code COMPASSION10. If you need a scholarship, please let me know by replying to this email.

It's nearly December and that means we've only got a few weeks left in the fall 2021 cohort of Everyday Self-Compassion! Each time I teach, it's so meaningful to see students experience the paradigm shift as they move away from judging themselves and towards self-kindness. One of the most important factors in this shift is the experience of safety and community in the group. This is what matters most to me as a teacher: co-creating a space where everyone can feel a sense of belonging and safety in being their unique, creative selves. I'll offer Everyday Self-Compassion again in early 2022, and if you'd like to join the waitlist, all you have to do is click here.

As I mentioned last month, I've had some interest from folks who would like to enroll in Everyday Self-Compassion but aren't able to attend at the current evening time. If you would be interested in a class that meets in the morning (Pacific Time), please click here to join the waitlist for the spring 2022 morning cohort.

The Self-Compassion Circle meets tonight, Sunday, November 28, from 6:30-8pm PT on Zoom. In case you don't know, the Self-Compassion Circle is a free, drop-in monthly meditation and practice group open to all. We check in, talk about self-compassion, share practices, and meditate together. If you'd like to learn about and practice self-compassion in a welcoming group, I hope you'll join us. You can register on Zoom here. Make sure you register before the start time.

I hope you find some moments of enough-ness and true peace as 2021 continues to wind down ❤️

Warmly,

"Joy is the gift of love. Grief is the price of love."~ Valerie Kaur

UPCOMING EVENTS

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are. Let me learn from you, love you, savor you, bless you before you depart. Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow." ~ Mary Jean Irion

THIS MONTH'S POEM

Things to know when waking
by Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer

There will be weather.

There will be some measure of light.

The earth will not pause, will not stop

in its spinning. The morning

will stretch into night.

And whatever I feel,

I won’t feel it forever.

And whatever I love

will someday be lost—

no matter how well I love it,

no matter my hopes,

no matter how tightly I grasp.

But the love itself, love

can continue to grow

in ways that defy

what I think I know—

if only I tend it, meet it.

And the mountains around me

are falling down.

Somewhere else,

mountains are being made.

Our Milky Way Galaxy,

sure in its course, will collide

with Andromeda Galaxy someday.

That someday will not be today.

Today there will be thousands of chances

to choose to be generous.

I am what I give.

I have a love light to carry.

Gravity wins.

Today is the day to live.

BEING GENEROUS WITH YOURSELF

In this holiday time when so much is happening, it can be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of it all and forget to be generous with ourselves. Not in terms of buying ourselves gifts, but in having a generosity of heart. This month's practice is meant to help you remember that being human is a tender combination of gratitude and grief; familiar rhythms, new beginnings, and goodbyes. So, we need to be generous with ourselves. I hope you find it supportive.

THE PRACTICE

You might want paper and pen, in case you want to take notes or draw. Once you're situated with your supplies, find a comfortable seated position. Take three easy breaths. You can put a hand on your heart if that feels comforting. 

Start by noticing how your body feels as you sit in this spot. Notice the places where your body makes contact with the floor or the chair. Continue to breathe, maybe imagining that the energy of your breath is passing through those places where your body makes contact. Let your awareness rest in these areas. Take three more breaths.

Now that you've arrived here a little more fully, bring awareness to the "weather" in your inner emotional landscape. Is it stormy? Cloudy? Warm? Cold? Bright? Just notice. You might want to write "the weather inside right now" and then write a word that names the weather, or draw an image. In this way, you're acknowledging to yourself that there will be weather; you will have feelings.

You can also remember that whatever you're feeling right now won’t last forever. If you feel stormy, that won’t last forever. And if you feel bright or festive or a sense of lightness, that also won’t last forever. This is how it is to be alive. Things ~ including us ~ are constantly changing. If you like, you can write "The weather won't last forever" under your previous note or drawing.

The constant change of life can be challenging. We want to hang on to experiences we appreciate; and we want to push away painful experiences. And we don’t get to pick. it all comes, and then it all goes. If it feels right, you can acknowledge this in your journal: "sometimes it's a relief when things change; sometimes it hurts".

Bring attention to your breath again. On your next inhale, as you breathe in, say silently to yourself: whatever I feel

And as you exhale, say silently to yourself: I won’t feel it forever
(repeat these phrases for three breaths)

Let go of these phrases for now and notice how you feel. Having touched into this truth about begin alive ~ that everything changes ~ notice any sensations in your body.

This month's poem reminds us that each day we have thousands of chances to be generous. You have one of those chances right now. Whatever the emotional weather inside right now, see if you can you allow it to be here without making yourself good or bad. This is the heart of generosity ~ the chance you have in this moment ~ to be here without making yourself good or bad. What would it be like if you could allow yourself to be as you are right now, with no need to improve or change anything?

Bring awareness to your breath again. This time, as you inhale, say silently to yourself: this moment is a chance to be generous
And as you exhale, say silently to yourself: to let myself be human
(repeat these phrases for three breaths)

Let go of these phrases. Take three gentle breaths with your hand on your heart. You can be generous with yourself as you are right now. You don’t have to become the person you think you're supposed to be; you don't have to earn that generosity. You, as you are in this moment, deserve that generosity of heart. 

For now, let your hands rest in your lap. Notice how you feel in your body. As best you can, allow yourself to be exactly as you are and to feel just the way that you feel.

You may like to journal or draw more about this experience: What was it like to sit with yourself? To notice the inner weather? To remember that everything changes? To acknowledge that change is sometimes very hard? To be reminded that you can be generous to yourself in this moment ~ that generosity looks like not making yourself good or bad? Did you notice any resistance? Or stories? There’s no wrong answer. Whatever is true for you is the right answer. ❤️ 

"If you begin to understand what you are without trying to change it, then what you are undergoes a transformation." ~ Jiddu Krishnamurti

THIS MONTH'S PLAYLIST

(songs that remind you to be kind to yourself)

"While expressing gratitude seems innocent enough, it is a revolutionary idea. In a consumer society, contentment is a radical proposition." ~ Robin Wall Kimmerer