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Hello there!
I hope you're well. Here we are in April ~ Spring is here for real in the Northern hemisphere, and in San Francisco the trees are blooming and the birds are singing. And it's also been an intense month. Heartbreaking in so many ways, and so all the more important to be kind and gentle with ourselves. More and more, I'm seeing the connection between self-compassion, creativity and anti-oppression work. I hope you're finding ways to be easy with yourself as you navigate the challenges and sweetness of everyday life, and that what I share this month helps you do that.
As you may well know, April is National Poetry Month, and many of you have been receiving Poems That Love You in your inbox for the past 26 days. If you'l like to receive poems for the next few days (and check out the ones I've already shared), you can opt-in here or check out the new Instagram account. The poem I shared today is also the poem you'll find below, and it inspired this month's practice, For Warmth.
As I said in this morning's email, it can be hard to be present with our feelings ~ especially in the face of dehumanizing injustice. This poem points to a way that we can be human with ourselves ~ hold our loneliness, our sadness, our fear (and, I believe, our anger) close, rather than discharging them or pushing them away. This way of loving ourselves tenderizes us and keeps us connected to our soul and our humanity. And it makes it more possible for us to make choices that are healing. I hope you find the For Warmth practice supportive.
The Spring cohort of Everyday Self-Compassion ended last week, and several students have shared that it was a transformative experience for them. I was going to wait until September to offer the program again, but I've decided to have a summer round! Our first live class is Monday, June 14th, with pre-program prep work beginning on June 7th. As I've been saying (and as you can probably tell if you've visited the new instagram account!), I'm continuing to incorporate more creativity and poetry into the way I teach, and that's reflected in the ESC program. If you'd like to get my guidance and the support of a group in developing a deeper, more creative self-compassion practice, I encourage you to join us. You can learn more about Everyday Self-Compassion and join the waitlist by visiting the information page. You can also reply to this email with any questions ~ I'm happy to connect with you about it.
The next Self-Compassion Circle meets tonight, Monday, April 26, 2021 from 6:30-8pm PT on Zoom. In case you don't know, the Self-Compassion Circle is a drop-in monthly meditation and practice group open to all. We check in, talk about self-compassion, share practices, and meditate together. If you'd like to learn about and practice self-compassion in a welcoming group, I hope you'll join us! You can register on Zoom here, and you'll want to do that before the start time.
Warmly,
p.s. If you've been receiving my newsletter for a while, you'll notice that it's gotten a refresh ~ and that it's officially called the Self-Compassion Re-set. I'm also hosting it on a different platform, so I hope it made a smooth landing in your inbox!
p.p.s. Don't forget to check out the April Self-Compassion playlist! ⤵ |
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"We cannot have a healed society, we cannot have change, we cannot have justice, if we do not reclaim and repair the human spirit." ~ angel Kyodo williams |
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"The more I wonder, the more I love." ~ Alice Walker
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| This month's poem by Thich Nhat Hanh is a reminder of so many things, and it inspired this practice. As I said in my email that some of you saw this morning, Thich Nhat Hanh wrote the poem during the Vietnam War, after the bombing of Bến Tre and hearing what an American military officer said about it: “We had to destroy the town in order to save it.”
In the face of this destruction and the officer's hard-to-comprehend response, Thich Nhat Hanh recognized that it was his loneliness that most needed attention. When I sat with this, I felt deeply moved. His priority wasn't revenge, it was taking care of his soul ~ making sure that it didn't leave him. This month's practice is a meditative ~ an opportunity to take care of your soul by holding your challenging feelings with warmth.
To begin, find a quiet time and private place where you won't be disturbed. Get into a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down. Close your eyes either partially or fully.
If it feels right, put a hand on your heart or some other soothing place. Doing this as reminder to bring not just awareness but kind, loving awareness both to yourself and to your experience. Take three breaths ~ on the inhale, breathing in calming, quieting energy and on the exhale, breathing out whatever wants to go.
With your hand on your heart, continue to breathe. Feel the sensations of breathing. Notice how your chest rises and falls. Letting your breath guide the way to arriving more fully in this moment.
Notice what emotions are present right now. As best you can, not judging them or telling a story about how they are right or wrong. Just noticing how it is, within you, emotionally. See if you can identify the strongest emotion present right now. If you're not sure, just make your best guess.
Then see if you can find the place in your body where this emotion seems to live ~ the physical sensation that seems most connected to this emotion. If you can, put your two hands wherever you feel the emotion. You can also put both hands on your heart or hold your face in your two hands. Feel the warmth of your hands.
Take three gentle breaths.
With each inhale, say silently to yourself: With these two hands
With each exhale, say silently to yourself: I can keep this feeing warm
Notice how you feel.
In your mind's eye, imagine that you're wrapping this emotion in a warm towel. Just allowing it to be here, and holding it with warmth, as best you can. Continue to breathe in a gentle way. If your mind starts to wander, bringing it back to the breath. And then back to the warmth of your hands. Remembering that there's no particular way you're supposed to feel and that however you feel is ok. We're just keeping our feeling company; not trying to change it.
When you feel ready, let go of this focus on your emotion and related physical sensations, and sit quietly in your own experience. Notice how you feel emotionally and how you feel in your body. As best you can, allow yourself to be just the way that you are and to feel however you feel. And then as you feel ready, gently open your eyes.
You may like to journal about this experience ~ what was it like to connect with your emotion this way? Did you notice any changes? ❤️ |
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"Love is like the sea. It's a moving thing, but still and all, it takes its shape from the shore it meets, and it's different with every shore." ~ Zora Neale Hurston |
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"Our feelings are our most genuine paths to knowledge." ~ Audre Lourde |
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